2004-03-01 // 1:37 p.m.

yep.

i havnt done anything since the last time i updated.

but i have thought alot

it feels weird, liking multiple people at once.

i never intend to, it starts as a few crushes here n there, but then i get kinda turned-down in the begining and i dont think about it agin

then

Bam~!

Jill, well this one snuck up on me ..

Niki ... i kinda asked for it

i dont kno how really to proceed, cuz im basically reaching the pinnacle of both relationships ... some time this week, i was gonna call jill. and find out if she has a boyfriend ... March 8th is, or would have bein: Four years, Six Months.

and niki, well the best plan is to try n ask her to be my girlfriend friday'ish, before the weekend, so that when she says 'i dont kno' i can offer to take her on the coolest weekend ever ... then she'll prolly say 'Yes' by the end.

.

so you see

itd be very weird to try n do both, especially since im starting to think i have good chances ... well, if you add the '%' from both together, im sure im close to 80% or somethin ... just gauging which

and then to make is infinitely worse

i dont really kno what i want

i mean, jill is JILL

but, Niki is pretty cool too ... plus, niki is here, which is both good and bad ... good cuz here is still fer like another two months, and she'll be outta here a few months after that ... well, Sep. she said ... so she'll be able to pick orders, and maybe even get san diego ... then we'll be together fer years'ish

but

jills a civilian, and if were married, shes got a guarantee'd ride to wherever

heh.

it sucks

choosing

especially since i have a tendency to choose the one who doesnt like me

at all

and the fact they both could read this makes it suck more

but i dont care

let them ... maybe they'll make my mind up for me

they'll both hate me

ill start from scratch again ... the cycle renews ... and my life stops being complicated for awhile

Dwight was right .. girl-caused anguish is the only thing that keeps this diary interesting ...

oh

and then theres laura

holy shit ... laura

coke-head tongue-pierced completely fallen-from-grace laura

but

theres that spark ... its still there ... just as easily as shes destroyed her life she could cast all the shit away and start over ... its a neat ability kinda

but, will she?

thats the question

*lol*

*****INTERMISSION, i browsed random diaryes n stuff ******

back

um

its 1400'ish ... i should prolly go ..err..

we had a fire drill ... it lasted 45 seconds ... but, we had to come outside anyways .. sucked

i wanna sleep more, kinda ... but i havta go to school still ... my life is hard *sarcasm*

school, is kinda sounds tough, but every day i go its just a fatty-load of boring ... maybe itll spice up soon?

i like playing Azure Dreams ... im still pissed off that Ghosh is going after Nico .. and her dumbass is falling for it "were gonna talk about culture n stuff" ... girls, even in video games, are retarded ...

but, i made it to lvl 20 of the tower ... i think on 25 the medicinal herb for that one girl is there ... and i saw the picket monsters ... i guess i jus havta kill a bunch of them? theyre tough tho, especially w/o a monster-looky thing ... there w34k monsters, but instead of attakcing, they steal, then warp away ... im thinking im gonna go and get one or two monster-looky-things, that make all the monsters visible to the map, and a blinder-ball ... cuz when theyre blind they just keep walking until they hit a wall ... they make a dumb lil circle ... and from there i can just have Kewne pick them off with his BridFireball .. heh

skillz

um

i wasted time ... eep .. gtg fer nows

-0ut

::Dismantle }{ Recycle::

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