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| }{ drunkn entry; and like a whole fuckin week. sorries bout that }{ |
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1999-01-03 // 12:12 p.m.
the date is seriously wrong on this puter. and im drunkb coolies, no? alot has happened, so im gonna condense it that new guy disappears into the NPC landscape georgie gives up on girls or somethin, i accuse him of being gay and i dont see much of him me n williams try to go to warped tour, you may hav known that i get randomly told about this JTT class. fuxck so one day ahrens says to come to the beach. me n willams. we do. im gonna go to the beach from then on w00t thursday i saw anchorman, we hung out wit jacky "jackson j, black-jack" anyways, we hang out n stuff friday i drive home, get ely. ffej's barracks ppl failed room inspoections so they all havta stay. save me prolly 2+ hours of driving i get drunkie that night at grand oaks elementary skoo, 16 + 6 today i saw ppl. christina was one. i didnt think she liked me, but dwiz says she was all up on my nutz. i dont kno what to think. i suppose i would say 'yes' ... but i doutb itd happen *pessimisim* anyuways so we drive n get ppl n hang out birdcage was a place keck JQ vollman dwiz travis me david then jq goes home and vollman and keck goes home, but to find somethin to do, which is a party that he can go, but not to bring ppl me travis dwiz n david go to mesa and drinkie then we go to rusch park then we take ppl home now im here rant ~ i dont really kno what to think. i guess im supposed to be getting over lauren. i really did like her, but i guess that lil part of me that doubted her in the back of my mind had more influnce over me than i thought. no crying? .... i dont feel good about it but still, its not that big a deal? oh, and when i called her seein if i could see her n when, she told me about all her plans, cuz i guess that promise two months ago got cancelled, and she said "she'd like to see me again" but never meant anytime soon, and the last words i heard were "why do you keep calling me?" ........ so i stopped. hung up. it took being so drunk i couldnt do much else but call random ppl to try n talk to her. her phone was off. i think i asked for my stuff i think the alcohol is wearing off cuz im not fucking this entry up very much? ok, one thing to consider; and im not putting this out to slander her, im only doing it to prove my point. she says that shes afraid i might pressure her into sex or rape her or make her uncomfortable or whatever, and yes, i did want a sexual relationship with her *in addition to the emotional fun one* however, i was kinda lead on. she initated everytime we did stuff for the first time. she kissed me that one night, i couldnt have possibly leaned up any higher; she came down. secondly, just from the conversations n what she said, i was to assume that she wanted every bit of sexual attention she got. third, when a girl sends picture of herself without the essential amount of clothing on, you can come to only one conclusion about her intent to get you aroused. im not gonna post those as proof, im not a bad person. most of the time. but, you can see... i tihnk as with the last time we had a major fall out, i may be a lil un-duely wrong, but shes the one thats seriously fucked up. and because of that, i guess i dont feel bad. im looking forward to telling the girlfriend that i want to be able to have sex with her. not imediately of course, im fully willing to wait for her to get to kno me and comfortable..... but to try n say far-future or even never? no, not happening. thats the rant i guess i saw dwights new girlie-friend. she cute, for 15. however, i dont thinks its gonna work, and while i may be attracted cuz of her cuteness n stuff, im wouldnt put any thought into a serious relationship i hope im not growing up i hope ~ im so ima sleep its late i need water -0ut
Another spring, 2012 - 2012-04-28
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