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}{ new type of rant? huh? }{ |
2008-01-04 // 3:56 p.m.
No one ever posts. PS. If you happen to stumble across this in the near future and wonder wtf is going on, you havnt known me long enough. If you happen to find this sometime in the distant future, your being dumb - I do this all the time.
the backstory - i drank, moar, and got killed by a police dog. i now owe approx $50k. anna was gonna move in august, she not moving today. I am in AA... and more and more it seems like I "was" in AA Of course, that could be the explaination. However, fuck the new guy. I just got off the phone with Anna.. the more correct and to the point I become, the sooner she hangs up. There's a ring in my trunk for her, she will probably never see it. That alone makes me feel like bawling. Then there's the conversations I just finished. One to the girl who got a kiss within minutes of the ball-drop, and the other with a stripper. so when the myspace bulletin asked "think anyone is thinking of you" I smiled and almost typed "Three even." Now, the breakdown. The virgin is well, virgin - and therefore alot of trouble for someone very in-experienced. she's also fucking nuts, point proven= because shes my age. I cannot concieve of what horrible things had to occur. and she's annoying. but as i mentioned in the blog, my willingness to compromise incresed in proportion to the temperature decrese. and Anna. the whole fucking situation pisses me off. she was supposed to be here in AUGUST. SIX FUCKING MONTHS LATER she lectures me on 'well if i was your g/f" !!!!STFU!!!! Move goddamn you!! We had this conversation in SEPTEMBER! YOU not me but YOU are the one unwilling to make this work. I told you "Name your price" aka "Anything you want" Isnt that what you fucking whores want to hear? isnt that the goddamn magic phrase that disney and barbie bred into your warped little fairytale minds to make you finally give in to an ounce of logic? Solution? Well, at this point im prolly supposed to go to a meeting and pick up a new guy and tell him how to make his life all better again. *lol btw* I'm not even sure that's a possibility... How is this ever supposed to get better? I am pre-programmed for self-destruction, drunk or sober. (in b4 an hero) lets start from scratch here ::: 1) im gonna fuck this up. my life in my hands in completely unmanagable. im sad right now because im not managing it
Another spring, 2012 - 2012-04-28
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