2005-05-10 // 6:07 p.m.

Goodday Mates!

Im in Australia, the Hotel has internet. As if you didnt expect me to jack-on the first chance i got.

keeping a diary is boring. especially when you disappear for 6 months, and know your not gonna have alot of time for it once your back either. lus i doubt i have any readers left after all this. So i dont know what im'a do. Maybe ill post this review i got too... my day-log is w34k. so are my rants.

What do i have to complain about? Oh poor me i havta work all day like every other adult. Cant seem to find a potencial girlfriend that an adult either.
Adult-ness sucks. Really Really Really Really badly. i think i should have ended it on excelsior rd. those so many years ago *years.. * now i just exist. maybe ill get crazy again, cut myself or take those industrial strength decongestant at triple dose.

Or maybe ill shut my lame-ass up. Its stupid to complain over the same shit for.. well ... Years. Why havnt i done something? Well, i can answer that
Jill. I simply refuse to move on. I got an email, she waited till she was home and could use janene&chucks acct... or probably, wasnt even going to reply until they pressured her to. Just in case your not up-to-date, shes been working in china and korea teaching english. she says she doesnt want to come back and how we are on so different tracks n stuff. getting stepped on by 10 fa bitches would not have made me feel that crushed as i did in front of that screen that night *actually morning, i had the midwatch* ~anyways->

so what am i gonna do?

sit here and type about it

then maybe go to the casino tonite

then the club

then in a few weeks, im home

after the roadtrip, im'a party like never before

once im back in SD, if i havnt already tricked a girl into liking me, i might go clubbin or re-build my contact-lists again.

*sigh* not to say im feeling better about life, cuz im not.

oh, and as for an acoounting of Pac, i cleaned stuff, shined brass, got into power stuggles with superiors(only by rank) and other wasted 6 months of my life. but im getting paid for it. w00t!

money makes me happy. not for any amount of time, but still.... money is easyer to acquire than happiness. maybe i should just change my focus, be all about God and money, forget girls and lifetime-of-happyness and perfect lifestyle... money is a lifestyle.

but then again, im just talking shit.. im not about to change. no matter how much i try, no matter how many months of Pac, im still that retarded little kid who broke up with the only girl i ever needed, and then wanted to take it back ever since. She is the axis of my life... things either happened to me before her, or after her... and she wants nothing to do with me. with every passing minute shes farther away...

i better end this entry before i get any more emo... and im'a hide all the sharp objects from me

-0ut

::Dismantle }{ Recycle::

Another spring, 2012 - 2012-04-28
The first one to admit this loses... - 2010-02-16
new type of rant? huh? - 2008-01-04
I really hope no body reads this stuff anymore... this would be a crying shame ~! - 2007-03-20
...In years to come it might make sense; Sweetness, Did You Foresee This **? - 2007-03-10