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}{ Today was PT ~ and the week before it is finally posted }{

2004-02-04 // 6:04 p.m.

halfway till weekend
friday is a busy day!!
trm is gonna be uniform-upkeep day

okies, heres the paper journal i have neglected to type fer, like, 5 days or somethin'

________________________________________

30JAN04 @ 2243


okay, back to paper-journalling. Why? cuz i fuckin can.

My Day is near irrelevant, but i need to keep track of this shit.

-> School, test, study, 88%, missed 3

-> Asked Baucom to the movie tonite, "She'll get back to me :P "

-> Went to the mall then movies. W00t~

Okay, now fer the thing. Every time I watch a movie about timetravel things get weird. OR about destiny. Well, i dont wanna spoil the movie fer you, so ill try to be breif. He (ashton) has blackouts, reads his old journals, then timetravels. Weird, but in a way its kinda weird. Theres vast chunks of my life i dont remember clearly. I hav more memorys of my dreams than i do of reality from way back (1-5yrs old)

Um. I know my PC & NPC destinys.

The NPC one is simple. follow this career, meet a girl, make babies, The End.

But when have i ever chosen to be an NPC? well, fer good :P

The PC one is quite unclear. Its what makes it unique and special .....

Theres places left in this world we havnt bein. We, as a whole, werent aware of them. I feel these lil "markers" in time, when the entire world seems on edge, then like a flash, a giant chunk of temporal concrete was laid.

But with each point comes all the infinite possibilitys. I think maby everyone is offered this, and then turns it down. When I know someone well enough, I can find that point... Iv had hundreds of opportunitys, and iv managed to turn them all down. Think back, to all my life. No career choices, until a few months ago; I fuck up every potencial relationship. All the essencial things to my NPC recipe I manage to dissolve before they can take root. I remember I used to draw missile turrets firing at airplanes. Yeah.

I hav blacked out significant chunks of life. all i remember of first grade is looking at a calendar and realizing it said "May" not "January"

... Why? And then, some that i do hav iv never discussed, with anyone, even Jill.... The rare few i do hav that are normal seem less real than any lie or dream i can recall.

Now, I know im not gonna find soem journal and fix my past all weird-like.

But whats gonna happen when i find out this stuff, and how will it turn out? The fact that i can name everyone in that movie to one of my friends IRL is kinda creepy too.

I should be practicing guitar or sleeping cuz rumor has it that the battallion is gonna bitch us out. I keep thinking about all those parallels. and how timetraveling in the future has prolly jacked up my brain thru the past. Like an echo or somethin, throwin rocks in the pond make ripples, and by the time i hav forgotten them, the ripples hav reflected back, causing little crazy waves and inconsistancies in my life. Like Leia. How does she fit? Do I do somethin in the future?...

I dont wanna sound like those w34k ass pagan poser ppl, but everything in connected, some being directly hardwired, some on a LAN, some online in general, and some only by a mere powerline. But ot keep along with the analogy, everyone will feel a powersurge, most will get hit with the spam, some will catch the same E-virus, all on the smae LAN get attacked by a hacker, and both people hardwired feel the sodering-iron.......

And all this from one giant fuckin power source... Alpha&Omega, cuz thats how this always ends. But why would this even be possible? How can jacking with the temporal fabric be in -HIS- plans??

I need sleep. trm were gonna be up. Mardas wants to go to Walmart, and a Halo-Thing is goin on.

Sunday, Krissy, the girl who waned me to see her orchestra, will be at the ice hockey table in cordova mall. PC, or NPC??

-0ut (2318)

__________________________________________

31JAN04 @ 0028

Cant Sleep. I keep thinking, back even farther. Trying ot explain to myself, and to whoever else may be listening. How can all these unrelated details keep repeating. And also.

there was this girl, my first "girl"-"friend" back in preschool or somethin. I still remember her. I keep having to aks Gran or Mom her name tho. And an odd thought crossed my mind, what if it was LEia? Altho its near impossible, what if???

I remember this one scene, like in a movie, shes sitting on the top of the slide in the moonlight. Its an odd memory, but still. Then theres snipets, like when I brought my stuffed animal, "LittleFoot" to school, or when she wanted to play this game where i was supposed to be donald duck and she was gonna be daisy and we were gonna talk weird-like except i didnt wanna play .... Odd things.

Why does my brain havta jack w/ me like this?? Im a call home trm, and ask. If the name is right, im talking to her, asking about this.

I think if its true, if shes it (shes not tho, this is prolly all a retarded fantasy) then I must be getting really fuckin' close to my PC-destiny, if i havta be dissuded by a coincidense that rare ~

so yeah, i need sleep!!

-0ut

____________________________________________________________________________


and thats what i wrote.

i never did call about that. maby i will?

saturday i spent part of the day with Mardas, and part with Carrie... it was fun, but not that much.

sunday i got sidetracked and was watchin Wishmaster 3 when Krissy calls ... oh shiznit! so i go to the mall ... and yeah.... met her n her friends, realized that they were not quite my age ... uh ... it was weird, and they left kinda sudden, after a few hours. ??? .... Oh, and i got Azure Dreams!! YaY!! ...... ended up back at the mall cuz ppl wanted to go. went to best buy, only i stayed outside n called ppl. and then went to Steak-N-Shake ... it was good, and the girl on drive-thru was really fine... i asked her fer her number, and when we got our food we thought it might be in the bag .... so we went thru it in-n-out and no number... well, we had shakes, and they were thick, so i go back thru the drivethru and get spoons... at the window im all "did you happen to forget to give me your number, or should i hav taken the hint" ... she did the cute girl-laugh thing and told me she normally doesnt give out her number to ppl ....?

monday was school. its way way way too easy agin. and then

that nite, i bought FatSweatyBetty online .... shes anatomically correct, with a 39 inche waist ... oh the sweetness ... and i went on an NEX run, and i got stuffies. then to walmart so othetr ppl could get stuffies.

then i played Azure Dreams ... in getting hooked.

tuesday was class, and laundry.

after laundry, i fould Miller, and Cloud in a day room, and hung out kinda. ... and Kay comes in .... miller thinks i should go fer her, but i doubt it seriously. Kay bein in a bad mood, apparently shes losing 3 friends?? ... and she took it out on me, seriously.

:P so yeah ... miller running recon tho .. hes gonna hook me up he says??

i played azure dreams like an hour yesterday. sweetness.

today is wednesday.

school, infinitely more boring. plotting on a map. serious. so easy.

and PT. PRT to be precise. i would hav failed, but i got ricky-counted, and i did the same fer norgart ... the run i did fer reals, 11:21 ... not bad, considering i dont PT on my own.

but

theres a new 'thing' goin around ... jugging? (JEW-ging) .... its weird, its basically chasing someone with a stick and pokes them lightly .... there supposed to run away n scream n stuff??? .... its fun tho, im on the wrong end of the stick, but im also a jugg' favorite? so whatever

i almost got it tonite, but i got in my room n hid. coming out i almost got it too. :P damnness....

drove Stallion n Rieman to the chinese restaurant right outside'a base .. then came here. i plan on playing Azure Dreams and maby meandering around base awhile

...uh

beybye fer nows

-0ut

::Dismantle }{ Recycle::

Another spring, 2012 - 2012-04-28
The first one to admit this loses... - 2010-02-16
new type of rant? huh? - 2008-01-04
I really hope no body reads this stuff anymore... this would be a crying shame ~! - 2007-03-20
...In years to come it might make sense; Sweetness, Did You Foresee This **? - 2007-03-10