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| }{ im at jamies, i slept in the desert, and i think this place is w34k. }{ |
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2003-07-19 // 10:19 p.m.
well, drinking .. well... it gets me into serious trouble. last night, right before me n jamie were gonna sleep, i was on my usual lets-cry-n-remember-all-the-dumb-shit-iv-ever-done rants... and i mentioned a few things, that in my mind i understood and werent too concerned with.. like how jills a zombie, i mess everything up, i killed her, and that i was sorry to jamie *i was keeping her up, and prolly annoying her somewhat* .... well, she didnt kno most of this, all she heard was alot of 'im sorrys' and 'i killed her' ... so yeah, needless to say, she didnt take too well to that.. so she went for a walk.. which was actually a drive to some guy named brian. she says she was jus gonna spend the nite.. it ends up that him n her all over, after i had fallen asleep, and yell n talk to me n shit... im not sure how long it lasted, i was in n out of sleep... but, it ended up i was locked out of the house, sleeping on the dorrstep, and jamie went to brians. i woke up not too long after, the sun was almost up... i tried to sleep, and had to fend off lil crawly things... it wasnt fun. later, i decided sleep wasnt happening, so i sat around in jamies backyard.. and finally walked to a payphone and called her. well, i was thinking, this wasnt as bad as some things.. no bruises, cuts, broken fingers, no being thrown in a van or attacked by punk rockers... i fared pretty well i thought? later jamie and i talk, she still a lil un-trusting, but shes paranoid like that, and so we spent alot of time together,, it was fun :) ..... now im here alone, shes out in the 'downtown' of prescott.. *lolz* partying or somethin.... i didnt wanna go, cuz im gonna avoid alcohol for awhiles, and cuz id rather not meet more ppl here that are inclined to throw me out. im 1100 miles from home, not taking any more risks. so, im gonna watch tv, surf some... im kinda bored, but even through some setback, theres progress. i think? shes so awesome. beautiful, fun, unique, exciting, cute, .. like, i could jus bust out the thesaurus and most of those good-words would be perfect for her, or at least noticable in her. not to say shes -perfect- ... there are things that arent the best, the irrational paranoia for one.. but that sets all the good things apart, like the fact i think she may actually care about me... shes gonna try to not-be paranoid for my sake. well, except shes hanging out with brian, and hes all bent on "hes crazy n weird n gonna rape, murder, and steal from you" ......... dwight is prolly familiar with this line, that when im drunk, if you dont kno me, your not allowed to talk to me. because, ppl who dont kno me think things that are obviously wrong. like hearing dreyfus says something like "keep jon from those glass cups" ... what?!?!? .. im holding one, i drank my vodka from one, and im not even near the counter... yet he still talks. No. a similiar situation. jamie n brian shouldnt have bein talking to me. *lol* but thats kinda unavoidable, ya kno? so, no more drunkness on this trip. maby a buzz or somethin, a shot or two... but nothing more, nothing H4rDC0r3. thats my rant i think well, and that jamie rocks :) this trip hopefully stays on track like it was most of today :) -0ut
Another spring, 2012 - 2012-04-28
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