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}{ grrrrrrr'ness... }{

2003-05-26 // 11:04 p.m.





grr.

today, technically, was sweet. but i feel like shit for some reason. prolly cuz i chickened out on calling the Navy today.

i woke up, and was online fer many hours as usual. I actually finsihed my shield!!!!!!!!! its conmplete!!! laura calld, said she'd call more.

Tim n Travis came and got me, we went to the bank for tim to get bling, then drove around looking for a chinese restaurant, we decide on Mongolian BBQ, one i havnt bein to down on Douglas ... in the sweet, we had fun, ate and talked ... then dwight and laura calld, we went to dwights, i watche dsome movie, laura calls, shes gonna come over at 3pm trm. im d/l'ing porn for her.. im not sure why tho. we hang out at dwights, i first read his book "The Satan-Seller" then we start to watch Star Trek Nemesis. Tim n Travis havta leave before it ends, and keck calls a lil while after that about a party. so me n dwiz go, missing the end of the movie. we go to my home, where i breifly prepare *grab magic items* , and then we arrive, and find out theres no party. .... keck failed. w34k.

so now im home

today, its events have bein sweet... but all sorts of troubling are on my mind.

I dont wanna join the Navy, and i dont wanna deal with that

My mom is out of school. that means she has time to attack me. fuck.

Laura. Dwight is right, i am confuzled. but see, if it was easy, it would be worth nothing... thats the worst part of it...

And then theres all that other shit on my mind... carrer, future, school'ing, zombies, demons, God, and relationship's in general.

oh, and alcohol, which i wanna drink alot of just cuz my mom set forth a challenge that if i came home drunk id be kicked out. and that im acting like a drunk. stupid fucking dumbass bitch.

I need a restart... but of course, thats closer to d34th than id like. damnit.

if you didnt notice, i also did a breif purge on the dland buddy list... lauren is dumb, id rather not hear form her agin. shes fun to torment, but it wont be happening anytyme soon. so blah :-P

plus im prolly gonna mis Inu Yasha if i havnt already

the only thing thats making me feel anything close to better is the concern ppl online are trying to give. and i feel worse tho, cuz im feeling antisocial, i feel like tell them all to leave me alone. i hate me sometimes.

i dont kno what im gonna do...

im gonna clean my room, dispite the challenge set forth not-to ... gran asked real nice "please could you do this.. for me?" ... so whatever, i might as well... plus i was thinking of doing it before that fucking bitch got on my case. ... i hate her, i really do. but i need her, i cant support myself yet, so im forced into surviving her shit till i can live on my own. and itll be awhile.. like, years.. i hate my life. grr.

so yeah

cleaning room, then a walk...

then i dunno

-0ut

::Dismantle }{ Recycle::

Another spring, 2012 - 2012-04-28
The first one to admit this loses... - 2010-02-16
new type of rant? huh? - 2008-01-04
I really hope no body reads this stuff anymore... this would be a crying shame ~! - 2007-03-20
...In years to come it might make sense; Sweetness, Did You Foresee This **? - 2007-03-10