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| }{ Walking. 20 miles when iv done so little this month. }{ |
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2003-05-24 // 4:24 a.m. ~ First off, let me remind you that God loves me. If he didnt, i prolly wouldnt be here typing now. the day starts pretty typical, dwight comes over, i get ready, we leave, laura calls a bunch..... but moms graduation is today, havta be home at 5.. dwight can come too! so we do that... we show up at 5 to leave at 5:30 to be there by 6:30 and the thing starts at 7. .... from 7:15 *when it actually starts cuz people are slow* to about 9:30 we sit, and take pictures of hot college chicks, and watch michael fuck up on video taping the ceremony. then we go to the music hall, where we were instructed to wait for mom. I got bored, so i hid, then calld laura *or got calld?* and walked around the building. this was between 9:38 and 9:40-9:45 ... by 9:45 i was circling the building looking for dwight n michael. well, by 9:5o-10:00 i kno something wrong, i check for the car in the parking lot... no car. i call gran. at 10:16 my voicemail beeps... wtf? i listen.. its dwight, telling me my mom is a dumb bitch *duh* and shes gonna leave me if i dont go to the book store imediately. the message was timed at 10:07. great. i run ot the book store. no one. now, why the bookstore i dont kno, considering its one'a the farthest things from ceremony, parking lot, and music building, which all are kinda close. well, i call gran one more time, telling her iv bein left, and id rather walk than deal with that stupid bitch. i start my epic walk at about 10:30, maby a tiny bit sooner. i walk down J st where it turns into Fair Oaks, take a right on Winding Way, then a left on Dewey, which turns inot Van Maren, which ends about .2 of a mile from my house *like a 3 minute walk* .... so while doing this, i think about random things, if i could record all of it, wow... there'd be a rant for sure the events that really stunned me were right at about van maren n auburn.. that interesection is less than a mile from home. *i think* a bit before the intersection i talk to God, mainly about Jennifer. and i ask to try and make my karmic balance closer to zero, or better, cuz i would hope for her back... well, shortly after a see two bunnys, one all white, one all black. both on opposite sides of this tree. should'a taken a pic, im dumb, didnt think of it before trying to chase the bunnys. not the point. the point is that was a symbol for something. -IN- the intersection, kiel and his rabbit speed by. after the intersection, he stop, gets out, and we walk n talk for a bit. we dont get -too- far, maby 1/3 down the last section of van maren, at most? well, basically we talk, and he gets the talk'age that im extremely fatigue'd, and Anthony n CJ catch up before he kicks me and accuses me of something to do w/ the Adam/keck thing... i respond that keck invited me n dwiz at least, and that adam had bein pissing us off anyways *all true and mentioned in an entry to two ago* ... they spurry back to his car, i keep walking. .....now, im hoping what he did wasnt his hardest kick.. cuz all it really did was pull the foot out from under the, and it hurt about the next 1/3 of van maren... well, both legs hurt equal, in all the same parts that hav to do with walking now... his kick didnt do much... and oddly, i think he could hav pushed me a lil and id hav fallen... i didn thav much strength, yet i easily survived his kick... making me think either he wasnt trying at all... or hes weaker than my lil brother? well, it did get to me tho, cuz i got quite more-tired after it... i was kinda stumbling by the time i was on my street... and now, i cannot stand. it hurts too bad to stand. it hurts like hell constantly, and almost unbearable if i change positions at all. the only rant i can remember came from after his kick, where i explain that true power comes from within, from striving without concern for back-up plans, and extra little bonuses... like waiting for jus the right time to kick me didnt accomplish anything but losing his own dignity. he lost by doing that. and that by accomplishing things without aid or min-max'ing or anything, jus pure determination, you create for yourself something that cant never be taken away. Its a true beautiful kind of energy and power that comes without needing to belittle anyone else. become strong without taking down someone weak. the true path... and along the way i kinda thought about where demons stand in my scheme of things... but thats fer later right now, im gonna eat. i hav an appointment trm at 10am. Wendys is prolly gonna hire me. and with a job, i will become exactly what i want of myself *something i ranted to myself about near the beginning of the trip*... i hav a plan for me, where i can become the coolies person i wanna be. its sweet. im taking these nutrition pills that helprebuild n fortify muscles after workouts... this insane about of 'burn' is the same thing as workout 'burn' ..only, like, 100 times worse, so hopefully it helps.. and i think ill take them every time i do something that makes my muscles ache like this, which will hopefully be cool :) and im gonna eat, cuz im hungry.. .. and now for the last thing before i go -> Jamie, yes you kno who you are, who keeps typing at me in your diary, your really cool too! and im not sure exactly how to reply, but here it is :D i hope you hav a really cool day, and hav updated agin by the next time im on!! :) -0ut
Another spring, 2012 - 2012-04-28
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