2003-05-05 // 11:50 p.m.

CellPhone: 8212392 , even if iv never talked to you before ever, or if i said you suck, still call!
Food: Mmm... Foooooooooooooodd...
Person: Dwight, who i want to hav bein able to get drunk with tonite :(

ok... so today was shit, i felt bad.. then good while jenifa was on *shes one'a those ppl that are lucky shes far away.. but only a lil* ... so im feeling okay, right?

i talk to Gabby, and a very drunk dwight... more fun, i was fairly happy.. iv missed Gabby alot.. took surveys.. im doing good

then i start getting unfun... ALi comes online.. i talk with her.. then i remember that she hates me... or at least, she couldnt care less if i had died or something.. so then the unfun is back.... i IM jill alot... that jus plain screw with me.. half happy, cuz i kno shell se them.. half sad, cuz i kno shell never love me....

then im feeling lame

and Seraphina comes online!! this is coolies, cuz i havnt talked w/ her fer dayze ~ ... and so i did.. and i feel good agin

im so fucking weird sometymes

at least i didnt actually do anything bad tho? ...

im thinking about walking to JFK now... not fro any -real- reason.. jus cuz its hella far away, and iv never bein there, and i havnt ever bein there.... and i kno the way.. i take sunrise to florin, florin to gloria drv... its actually pretty simple... its also about 30+ miles one-way.

and no one loves me enough to come pick me up.... but my moms work is actually kinda close to there.. i mena, close being 5-10 miles... its closer than home tho!

i dont wanna be around people trm... i wanna escape.. i feel very much like running away... i dont like how my life is going... maby ill rollerblade to JFK? oooh....

but i wanna rollerblade.. its hella fun!! i havnt done that in a few dayze

***intermission***

i just looked at all the ppl whov linked me so far... dwiz, jenifa, dawn, and chrissy ... and i feel so special now... omg... i love you all... ,and if you want love, you better had damn well get to linking me too! i asked gabby to, i guess she didnt get around to it... and i kno ppl are reading this and so why havnt they linked yet??? its not hard at all, and you can easily un-link if you want?? C'Mon!! i feel loved when im linked!!! grrness!!

okay... i feel special now

christina said she had something to tell me... i hope its not bad... now, i mean, i havnt done anything to her to make her hate me *that i kno of?* ... so i think it might jus be some normal conversation thing.... or, i can play pretend, and she might tell me she loves me and wants to hav my babys n such... itd rock.. but it wont happen... too bad tho, shes prolly she nicest girl iv known IRL ... i think all the really special ones are destined to be born far away.... where i cant get to them *evil grin* , but its better that way, cuz life cant be too-perfect.. and theyd prolly end up pissing me off IRL anywayz.. or id piss them off IRL... or something bad would happen? ... so yeah

life is good agin

all because of 4 lil comments!! see, its not hard to get me to smile!! 4 comments, thats it!! ... actually, it was really 3, since dwight was jus "johns new diary" but still, it helpd... he purposely misspells my name... im not sure why.. but whatever

i havnt posted lyrics yet

i hate when ppl post lyrics as an entry...

so of course, ill prolly do it in a few dayz

and there will be the dawn rant.. once im awake enough, and all happy n cuddly-feeling inside

and itll prolly be after talking to her

i cant believe i killed 3 kittens las nite.. goddamn ... thats not normal... *shudders*

*lolz*

im crazy

-0ut

::Dismantle }{ Recycle::

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