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| }{ my nite, and a conversation with Lauren ~ then more Lauren }{ |
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2003-05-05 // 12:20 a.m. ~ ~~~~ I had a nice conversation with Lauren... ok, i lied, it was quite awful.... but ill post it anyways... as i said, i often return the favor!! ~~~~~ vulpineblaze: :-)? SpaceyKritter: hilo! vulpineblaze: how are you?? SpaceyKritter: pretty good! urself? vulpineblaze: bored, tired, today was w34k vulpineblaze: i hav a new diary tho. SpaceyKritter: yup yup vulpineblaze: :-D vulpineblaze: Lauren, i hav this crazy idea.... its actually kinda funny tho.... SpaceyKritter: what's that? vulpineblaze: IF you were me, in my position, and you wanted to get you *lauren* to like yourself *me* .... how would you go about doing it? SpaceyKritter: are we actually talking about me? SpaceyKritter: as lauren vulpineblaze: yes, like a near-fer-reals thing SpaceyKritter: I'd give up. Jon, I don't want to go back with you vulpineblaze: :-P but what if you wannted to go out with yourself still? would you jus give up that easily? SpaceyKritter: yeah, actually SpaceyKritter: I gave up on Kaleb SpaceyKritter: never started trying actually vulpineblaze: well yeah, but your lucky enouigh to be heartless.. you dont need anyone else. I havnt bein gifted like that SpaceyKritter: lol, did you just call me heartless? SpaceyKritter: why DO you need someone? SpaceyKritter: just leave them be til you find someone who likes you for you! SpaceyKritter: stop trying to mess with fate. vulpineblaze: fate started it :-P SpaceyKritter: I'm kinda serious about that, a lot of girls seem to be attracted to guys who don't actually look every second for a relationship vulpineblaze: and yes, i calld you heartless; and, i dont kno why i need someone else.. i jus get all sad n cry'y when i dont think someone else likes me SpaceyKritter: it's like when you're dating someone, all the sudden girls seem to like you more. vulpineblaze: yeah, i kno SpaceyKritter: it's cuz you're not scaring them! SpaceyKritter: ur not trying to get them to be with you! vulpineblaze: *smiles* thank you... oh, and you did answer my question ;-) altho since you kno, it prolly wont work now vulpineblaze: your loss SpaceyKritter: :-) SpaceyKritter: if you didn't try to be more than a friend with me, I'd become your friend SpaceyKritter: I still don't want you back. SpaceyKritter: friends is fine with me vulpineblaze: i kno... :-) SpaceyKritter: *sigh* SpaceyKritter: it's even less attractive when you go after multiple girls at once vulpineblaze: i kno :-) SpaceyKritter: yet you still do.. SpaceyKritter: and seem proud vulpineblaze: but its mor eeffective SpaceyKritter: HAH! SpaceyKritter: that is the crappiest thing I've ever heard SpaceyKritter: you sicken me vulpineblaze: :-P its true SpaceyKritter: yes, which is why you sicken me vulpineblaze: *lolz* im sorry. i didnt mean to... SpaceyKritter: what? didn't mean to what? SpaceyKritter: it's not because of what you said SpaceyKritter: you plain out flat sicken me... I just wouldn't mind staying friends with you SpaceyKritter: the sickening thing is reason for me not to want you back.. vulpineblaze: Thanks SpaceyKritter: that wasn't a compliment. SpaceyKritter: and it wasn't a direct insult. vulpineblaze: ..O.o? vulpineblaze: then what the hell was it? SpaceyKritter: it was reminding you why I'm not with you? SpaceyKritter: and it's only me saying what I feel SpaceyKritter: if it's too harsh I'll spare you my blunt-ness vulpineblaze: no, no. vulpineblaze: Im having fun SpaceyKritter: wow, that disturbs me more. SpaceyKritter: I guess I was right. vulpineblaze: im spending Exp. on some 'heartless' these past few weeks.. i even saw jill and stuff... hehe, and i feel good vulpineblaze: right about 'sickening' .. or somethin else?? SpaceyKritter: something else... SpaceyKritter: is it familiar in ur house to have fights? vulpineblaze: nope. SpaceyKritter: verbal, I mean vulpineblaze: nope. SpaceyKritter: why is there such harsh animosty then? vulpineblaze: a few tymes *like, maby 10'ish over the past 9 yaers* .... and i win them... so they stoppd happening vulpineblaze: how so? SpaceyKritter: ur feelings over ur Aunt SpaceyKritter: you blame her for everything SpaceyKritter: I know you've told me about it before.... SpaceyKritter: but SpaceyKritter: it's deeper than that. vulpineblaze: keep going SpaceyKritter: I'm asking you the fucking question, I have nothing else TO say. SpaceyKritter: I was waiting all this time for you to answer. SpaceyKritter: so out with it vulpineblaze: why is there animosty? SpaceyKritter: ......................................... vulpineblaze: prolly cuz she makes 'rules' that go against my plans... she alters my life in an un-productive way... so i use her for whats she good for *fundz* and ignore the rest... vulpineblaze: im wondering what point your trying to make...? SpaceyKritter: that's no reason to hate her.... mom hasn't let me do everything, and I'm happy she hasn't. SpaceyKritter: it's not the same as my case, I know SpaceyKritter: but you shouldn't blame her for shit. SpaceyKritter: you could've done productive things too, instead of sulking and blaming vulpineblaze: O.o? vulpineblaze: i blame her for what she does SpaceyKritter: reach for the stars, but sometimes you have to climb a bunch of adjacent steps to get there... SpaceyKritter: As you used to talk to me, you blamed her for things like ur car, and ur lack of work. vulpineblaze: i did? well, she might hav bein a small part maby.... but its in-direct...? SpaceyKritter: *shakes head* I donno, whatever. vulpineblaze: :-P exactly SpaceyKritter: ........ SpaceyKritter: you feel you've proved something? vulpineblaze: a little. SpaceyKritter: LMAO SpaceyKritter: ok SpaceyKritter: wow vulpineblaze: altho im wondering if you had a point? SpaceyKritter: you depress me SpaceyKritter: I have my point SpaceyKritter: I won't tell you though =) vulpineblaze: you depressd me ... but i survived SpaceyKritter: cuz you sicken me, depress me, and make me laugh pitifully SpaceyKritter: I'm not what you think I am! SpaceyKritter: what's the point of being depressed over me?! vulpineblaze: then why dont you show me? why dont you try to make me realize whatever it is your thinking i dont know?? SpaceyKritter: I can live through this anyway, I'm not depressed like it makes me want to die, it's like, how the hell do I live with guys surrounding me? SpaceyKritter: this is me. and you don't know me vulpineblaze: :-D vulpineblaze: keep going SpaceyKritter: *shakes head* when you put those smileys up, it makes me think you have no idea what the hell's going on. vulpineblaze: i kno :-) SpaceyKritter: yeah, do you? vulpineblaze: i put the smileys up no matter what happens?? havnt you noticed?? its like, you dont stop using the letter T , or proper punctuation jus jus the mood changed? vulpineblaze: i think so :-) yea SpaceyKritter: yeah, I have noticed. vulpineblaze: *altho i do studder-typo* SpaceyKritter: *sigh* vulpineblaze: so basically, im thinking youv bein trained into this kind of maciavelian sort of emotinal responce... where things that affect normal people instead trigger this emotional blackout. you stop 'caring' and instead 'react' to whats in you own interest. and emotional attachment is by far -not- an interest. vulpineblaze: *knows im gonna hear about this one* SpaceyKritter: *cocks head* well, some was right. SpaceyKritter: emotional attatchment is an interest of mine though, when it's attatched to me, I question it SpaceyKritter: unless, I understand why of course vulpineblaze: its more of a curiouscity then... i mean, how can one person -care- for someone like that?? its a foreign concept... SpaceyKritter: after two days, it's not my thing SpaceyKritter: nah, I believe it. SpaceyKritter: just not in two days SpaceyKritter: O_O did Dwight...? vulpineblaze: yeah, of course, to keep within limits of society, you havta at least 'pretend' to believe in love.. you jus set it to a degree that wont be happening anytyme soon vulpineblaze: .. did dwight?? SpaceyKritter: hmm.. SpaceyKritter: he wasn't supposed to say anything SpaceyKritter: I donno SpaceyKritter: whateve SpaceyKritter: r vulpineblaze: oh... *checks the dwiz' window* ... vulpineblaze: keep going vulpineblaze: :-D SpaceyKritter: I said I donno, whatever, which means I'm laying off, unless he actually said somethin vulpineblaze: i meant -our- conversation SpaceyKritter: ........ SpaceyKritter: I put my input, you keep going SpaceyKritter: if I don't talk it means I don't have something to say vulpineblaze: :-) SpaceyKritter: .......why do you do that? Even on here you hide behind something. vulpineblaze: *smiles, for real, brightly* really? vulpineblaze: how so? vulpineblaze: *oh, and it was your turn ... i posted last on-topic^^^^* SpaceyKritter: *smiles* SpaceyKritter: the how so is, you hide from ur past, then you post things all the time, no matter if your hurt or whatever, you have the smileys.... why hide? SpaceyKritter: it shows cowarddess, and it's pathetic. SpaceyKritter: ice* SpaceyKritter: *I made a typo..?* vulpineblaze: *lolz at your typo* SpaceyKritter: *smiles* vulpineblaze: who says im hiding? SpaceyKritter: me. vulpineblaze: maby iv jus found a more-efficient way to dealing with it? SpaceyKritter: or purposely annoying =) SpaceyKritter: *sighs lovingly* it's so attractive vulpineblaze: that too ;-) see, i learned alot in my past... one was how to deal with alot of emotional pain... i didnt even hav friends until 5th grade. SpaceyKritter: ...how do you deal? cuz it really didn't seem to be working...it lingered with you vulpineblaze: it? ... something past-tense? maby.. but i was running from my past... also past-tense.. im trult coming full-circle vulpineblaze: truly even :-) SpaceyKritter: that didn't answer shit. vulpineblaze: i kno :-) SpaceyKritter: good job. SpaceyKritter: weakness, pathetic. vulpineblaze: of course, your being fague... im not entirely sure what 'it' is? SpaceyKritter: oh wow, how was that vague? SpaceyKritter: anger SpaceyKritter: what I was talking about maybe? vulpineblaze: you didnt re-state the porpr-nouns in the paragraph... you would hav failed that essay vulpineblaze: proper *goddamn typos* SpaceyKritter: I'm writing an essay? SpaceyKritter: sorry, I thought you were inteligent ^.^ vulpineblaze: no, but essay format builds good communication skills SpaceyKritter: yeah, it was pretty obvious what I was talking about though vulpineblaze: -anyone- who has bein named 'good' at communication sticks with that kind of format... vulpineblaze: not really, it was, like 3 screens up SpaceyKritter: .......................................................... SpaceyKritter: vulpineblaze: that too ;-) see, i learned alot in my past... one was how to deal with alot of emotional pain... i didnt even hav friends until 5th grade. SpaceyKritter: ...how do you deal? cuz it really didn't seem to be working...it lingered with you SpaceyKritter: IT WAS THAT! vulpineblaze: oh wow.. farther up thna i guessd... SpaceyKritter: anger, emotional pain, they go together! vulpineblaze: no, they dont SpaceyKritter: *sigh* SpaceyKritter: fine then, emotional pain SpaceyKritter: was the main topic vulpineblaze: and you said i was hiding SpaceyKritter: sorry for being so god damn vague SpaceyKritter: you are. vulpineblaze: its ok :-) ill forgive you SpaceyKritter: if you can't let people know of your past SpaceyKritter: how is that not hiding? vulpineblaze: when did i do that? SpaceyKritter: your diary, maybe? vulpineblaze: the diary was half-truths vulpineblaze: thats why. SpaceyKritter: so you lie to your diary? vulpineblaze: early on i did alot SpaceyKritter: isn't that kinda... vulpineblaze: lame? vulpineblaze: Yes! vulpineblaze: my point exactly SpaceyKritter: not lame.. SpaceyKritter: like an oxymoron vulpineblaze: yea... hypocritical, weak SpaceyKritter: a diary is something to be truthful to SpaceyKritter: yup vulpineblaze: i kno.... SpaceyKritter: that's you, then SpaceyKritter: so why hide it? vulpineblaze: -thats- why i didnt like it, and thats why i locked it, and thats why im at the new one im giving out SpaceyKritter: *smiles* vulpineblaze: no, it WAS me... past-tense SpaceyKritter: so the second I changed from my earlier preppy stage, it only WAS me...right? vulpineblaze: and ill affirm my past awfulness, openly SpaceyKritter: my preppy stage is me still.. SpaceyKritter: everything I've done is me vulpineblaze: but its also past-tense ... its not what your doing NOW SpaceyKritter: it's not what I'm doing, I agree SpaceyKritter: but it's me vulpineblaze: *im tihnking in kinda divided catagories... your kinda going altogether* - *understands* ... i am that stupid kid, and that weak liar.... but im growing.. hopefully into something much cooler than that SpaceyKritter: yes, I hope you do too....but it wouldn't hurt to let people know who you are SpaceyKritter: it may even make them like you more, for being able to get over that stage vulpineblaze: i havnt tried to stop them SpaceyKritter: locking ur diary? vulpineblaze: thats not me SpaceyKritter: yes it is. vulpineblaze: O.o? SpaceyKritter: ur not DOING it now... but it's you SpaceyKritter: what you changed to is you too vulpineblaze: if you told someone your name was "polly".. the only thing that changed was the fact your a liar, your name is still the same SpaceyKritter: everything in between is you vulpineblaze: *is trying to make that point myself* SpaceyKritter: ...it's still part of me SpaceyKritter: if I said my name was Polly SpaceyKritter: it's part of me.. SpaceyKritter: I said it, I lied, I stopped lying now though then, and it has become part of my being vulpineblaze: yeah. vulpineblaze: but you names not polly, cuz htatd also be denying a part of you vulpineblaze: *typos, but youll kno* SpaceyKritter: .....in the present time I'd be denying as I said it SpaceyKritter: but it's the fact that I "did" that we're basing it on vulpineblaze: i kno :-) iv bein trying to agree :-D vulpineblaze: keep going tho, your doing great SpaceyKritter: ...then why do you use other ways to disagree to something I' not saying? SpaceyKritter: I'm* vulpineblaze: because i didnt want you to stop SpaceyKritter: ....... vulpineblaze: *is smiling, and has bein quite awhile* SpaceyKritter: so just because you want me to continue talking, you make urself look like a naive moron? SpaceyKritter: how is this helping? vulpineblaze: sure :-) why not? why help anytihng? help means i hav a goal in mind.. i dont for once, im not trying to prove anything or make you like me... im jus having a cinversation because i enjoy it SpaceyKritter: ..... SpaceyKritter: please have your conversations elsewhere. SpaceyKritter: I don't enjoy it vulpineblaze: im an awful person, but im evolving into something better... and ill in the end be -all- of this... SpaceyKritter: yes, you are an awful person.. vulpineblaze: :-) hehe SpaceyKritter: just today I told mom that you were seeming to turn around from what I disliked so much in you SpaceyKritter: .... vulpineblaze: and your heartless, and so emotional disconnected that i wouldnt be surprized to see in you in 10 years going to marriage counceling for it :-) and the therapist would prolly think your worse off than i -ever- was :-D vulpineblaze: today i told dwight i loved talking to you, because your actually starting to be nice to me SpaceyKritter: *smiles* why do you still like me, then? SpaceyKritter: I'm only nice when I don't hear your moronic comments and questions.. vulpineblaze: because, i hav this odd little feeling, i think its an emotion -> anyways, it makes me smile whenever i think of you.. all of you SpaceyKritter: I have a little feeling in me too... whenever I think of you :-) vulpineblaze: the beautiful girl, who has a hot body from water polo, and kisses great, and asked god to love me.. and tells me im weak, pathetic, moronic, wrong, awful, and tells her moms stuff about me, no matter what id like :-D vulpineblaze: *was describing you.. altho itd prolly take dayz, and more vocabulary than i hav, to describe -all- of you* vulpineblaze: *is still smiling* oh, and your adorable SpaceyKritter: I didn't ask God, by the way, but yes, higher being... vulpineblaze: um.. you said "god please make me love him" ....??? SpaceyKritter: god* SpaceyKritter: not God SpaceyKritter: god vulpineblaze: ...and now I just read Jon's entry. I feel like shit. *looks up at God* ... Make me love him? vulpineblaze: its looks capital to me SpaceyKritter: woah seriously? vulpineblaze: http://liljokritter.diaryland.com/030404_81.html SpaceyKritter: I must've been delerious vulpineblaze: oh course.... vulpineblaze: of * SpaceyKritter: I've never actually meant it when talking to God ^.^ I forgot what I was feeling that day, I guess SpaceyKritter: maybe I meant Gaia SpaceyKritter: cuz at the time, I thought I meant it vulpineblaze: so who are you agin? vulpineblaze: definately not hiding, thats for sure! SpaceyKritter: what do you mean? you think I can just tell you who I am? vulpineblaze: well no :-) im jus typing aloud i guess? vulpineblaze: i mean, the Lauren you kno would NEVER hav ask God to love someone, right? she'd be so terrified by that kind of emotion she'd prolly do her best to avoid anytihng of the sort? SpaceyKritter: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA that kind of emotion?!?!? SpaceyKritter: what are you smoking! SpaceyKritter: I'd ask Gaia SpaceyKritter: god is some freak of nature that Christians made up SpaceyKritter: Gaia is earth vulpineblaze: of course... because the object of a few bad RPGs is gonna save your ass, right? SpaceyKritter: the object of a few rpgs..? vulpineblaze: Gaia is more than earth, it is the entire creative lifeforce SpaceyKritter: yes, she is Earth, too. vulpineblaze: and god, by his first definitions, was the ultamate creator vulpineblaze: too. SpaceyKritter: what do you mean by the earlier statement SpaceyKritter: not to me SpaceyKritter: isn't god supposed to be what one believes him to be? vulpineblaze: that only poser new-ager wanna-bes use that term often... most professions use it only as reference SpaceyKritter: new age? SpaceyKritter: gaia has been used from 30,000 years ago.. SpaceyKritter: before christians. SpaceyKritter: please refrain from dissing on my goddess... vulpineblaze: *yawn* SpaceyKritter: are you actively trying to make me hate you? SpaceyKritter: and my talk of my religon bores you SpaceyKritter: I'm so sorry you hate me =) SpaceyKritter: so stop talking to me ^.^ it'll make me happy vulpineblaze: no, im jus *in less words that i should* am telling you for once, your the ignorant one... religion, and me, go hand-in-hand... and when i was a stupid lil kid, i playd the wicca-game.. SpaceyKritter: played the game? vulpineblaze: i tryd to say 'goddess' instead of god SpaceyKritter: it's more than a fucking game, you dumbass vulpineblaze: and all that other new age crap vulpineblaze: then, of course, i went farther back, to books published -before- the 70s vulpineblaze: learned about stuffies that exceed anything barnes n noble can offer SpaceyKritter: Jon....why are you saying this? a game... new age crap.. SpaceyKritter: you just scratched a hole in me... vulpineblaze: ok, the game was an expression, kinda like saying "the new age 'thing'' SpaceyKritter: seriously, you hurt me... vulpineblaze: the new age crap is jus that vulpineblaze: crap SpaceyKritter: ....... vulpineblaze: try reading book by someone with a college degree SpaceyKritter: this is what it feels like =) vulpineblaze: you might learn sometihng? SpaceyKritter: from someone elses opinion of wicca? vulpineblaze: Yeah, i kno :-) SpaceyKritter: I'm a solitary witch, we don't give what people say we should believe vulpineblaze: yea, i read that too... i was, what, 13 then? i had a drawer with salt n lil bottles n scented oils n shit vulpineblaze: casted spells SpaceyKritter: casting spells is not what wicca is made of vulpineblaze: bullshit. every goddamn newage bok with that word on it has spells.. its not what its about per se... but it happens SpaceyKritter: ur blind to it, Jon SpaceyKritter: I haven't casted a single spell SpaceyKritter: I will, in december vulpineblaze: too bad.. its actually fun vulpineblaze: :-) SpaceyKritter: is that what it was to you? SpaceyKritter: Jon, I'm trembling right now SpaceyKritter: why are you still saying this? vulpineblaze: because its true. because for once im not going to jus go offline and cry at the first sign of trouble. im taking a few lessons from you beautiful. I learn quick ;-) SpaceyKritter: it's not true... SpaceyKritter: why do you think it's true? vulpineblaze: how is it not true? vulpineblaze: im using more-credible sources from the same genre? SpaceyKritter: lol SpaceyKritter: more credible? SpaceyKritter: try the Wiccan Rede SpaceyKritter: that's credible vulpineblaze: its like you showing me a passage from proverbs, telling me im wrong, and me busting out a hebrew version. I win, that simple SpaceyKritter: ........... SpaceyKritter: Jon, I don't know wha to say to you vulpineblaze: tell me sometihng bad about me vulpineblaze: tell me what iv done wrong vulpineblaze: tell me that you never want to see me agin vulpineblaze: .. or tell me the truth for once SpaceyKritter: I might do the third.... SpaceyKritter: or the latter.. SpaceyKritter: Jon... I believe in my religon... I'm solitary... I make my own rules... the only two made from wiccans is "As ye harm none, do as ye will" SpaceyKritter: the two come in that package. SpaceyKritter: just... vulpineblaze: and i never once told you not to... vulpineblaze: *oh, but keep going* SpaceyKritter: your so...off...with what Wicca is...yet you're talking like you know it all.. SpaceyKritter: I don't want to talk to you......I really... didn't know this side of you vulpineblaze: that was dwights idea, honest! SpaceyKritter: I know, he said to vulpineblaze: i hate conference... too crowded.... hell be typing n interrupting n shit ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ then it moves to conference ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You have just entered room "Chat 13499910342681192971." SpaceyKritter: .... OfFaithAndFire: what are u guys talking about :P vulpineblaze: SpaceyKritter: your so...off...with what Wicca is...yet you're talking like you know it all..SpaceyKritter: I don't want to talk to you......I really... didn't know this side of you vulpineblaze: keep going SpaceyKritter: .... SpaceyKritter: Jon SpaceyKritter: I don't know what to say SpaceyKritter: if ur willing to push my beliefs down the drain, and think I'm not hurt vulpineblaze: well, you mentioned the third, or the latter? vulpineblaze: * i never thought you were un-hurt* SpaceyKritter: I'm doing the third, Jon vulpineblaze: ***laggggg* SpaceyKritter: then why say it Jon, why try to hurt me? vulpineblaze: i didnt try to hurt you SpaceyKritter: whenever I say things so bluntly to you, I'm not trying to hurt you SpaceyKritter: yeah, right. vulpineblaze: jus like, i would hav hoped you never 'tryd' to hurt me vulpineblaze: exactly SpaceyKritter: you still sicken me, Jon SpaceyKritter: even more now OfFaithAndFire: tinas coming! :-) SpaceyKritter: and I'm gonna be leaving. OfFaithAndFire: hopfully :P OfFaithAndFire: noooooo!! :-( SpaceyKritter: sry dwight SpaceyKritter: I think I am starting to hate Jon OfFaithAndFire: i know so am i but dont leave :P lol jk john vulpineblaze: i think most of that Gaia worship is bullshit... because its all based off of much older proto-religions dating back 100,000 *read nat'l geographic alot* SpaceyKritter: I disliked him before vulpineblaze: i love you too dwight! vulpineblaze: *hasta keep scrolling up* - *hates conference* SpaceyKritter: I don't really care if you believe or not, you said I was wrong though. vulpineblaze: oh ok, i still sicken you... OfFaithAndFire: actually wicca is one of the oldest religons, not rally based off anything but maybe old peganism :P SpaceyKritter: wow, is this too fast for you? vulpineblaze: because, technically, you are SpaceyKritter: ........ vulpineblaze: i havta look at the keyboard when i type... SpaceyKritter: me too vulpineblaze: well :-P SpaceyKritter: multi-task.. OfFaithAndFire: ya it isnt slow, turn off ur porn john lol SpaceyKritter: sso hard vulpineblaze: and the window is kinda small SpaceyKritter: lol vulpineblaze: *maximizes* there SpaceyKritter: ........... vulpineblaze: err... i havnt gotten there yet vulpineblaze: porn happenz right before sleep... not during converations SpaceyKritter: Dwight, I gotta go anyway vulpineblaze: *plus theres laggg... * SpaceyKritter: k? OfFaithAndFire: aww ok :-( vulpineblaze: :-) byebye Lauren! vulpineblaze: ill miss you! SpaceyKritter: sry, hopefully I'll see you tomorrow =) OfFaithAndFire: ok :-( SpaceyKritter: I won't miss you at all Jon vulpineblaze: thanks! SpaceyKritter: in fact....don't IM me SpaceyKritter: bye vulpineblaze: ok vulpineblaze: byebye OfFaithAndFire: lol SpaceyKritter: really? thanks SpaceyKritter: ^.^ SpaceyKritter: cya SpaceyKritter has left the room. ............................... now for this one, im prolly wrong alot too... but oh fuckin' well... i dont havta take shit from people.. especially people who dont like me. i gonna tell you how i fucking feel no matter how goddamn trebly it gets you! yeah, laura next... actually, in all technicality, she was first, only she got it while i was drunk. so it doesnt count... today i told her how i felt too... but i dont think she was listening. so yeah that was a bad example of a good thing. now, if she had bein nice to me, for example, if she hadnt bein like "i would go out with you agin, you sicken me" then i prolly would hav bein nicer... maby held back alil, skippd the whole religion thing with a "i think your wrong, but we each hav a different opinion so whatever" ... but instead i jus tore into her... cuz why not? she felt perfectly fine doing it to me!!! oh, speaking of which heres the conversation from the night she broke up with me..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SpaceyKritter: ...yeah, did you mean everything you said in ur diary, or was that you being drunk? vulpineblaze: it was me being more drunk than iv ever bein.... i actually have spent today in p41n from a killer hangover vulpineblaze: im sorry tho SpaceyKritter: that sux SpaceyKritter: ehh. vulpineblaze: im very very sorry, for everything SpaceyKritter: I'd say it's alright, but I'm still all aggitated vulpineblaze: :-) well, I hope you feel better... as i mentioned earlier, im neurotic, so i get a lil scared n such when i dont know when ill see you agin... i drew 3 more pictures tho, and i think they r0x, maby even more than the first :-D? SpaceyKritter: lol vulpineblaze: but, i hav no scanner SpaceyKritter: that sux vulpineblaze: yea vulpineblaze: and ill be damned if im going outside like this SpaceyKritter: lol SpaceyKritter: that'd be great.. vulpineblaze: :-) vulpineblaze: is there anything i can do? anything you want? SpaceyKritter: ehh. I wanted my space, and you defied it, I wanted time away without cares.. I donno, people kept reminding me of you tripping. I donno if there's anything I do want. vulpineblaze: * feels awful* well, i am sorry... i didnt mean to defy you or anything, i just want to see you n talk to you n such... i mean, think about this-> when im with you, im happy; and i like being happy and want to be happy more - so i end up spending alot of tyme thinking about you n wanting tyme with you :-) SpaceyKritter: haha, that's the thing, I love spending time with you too. My way of dating has always been like calling maybe once or twice a week, and hanging out maybe once or twice a week if that. Your way is hang out, talk for hours, EVERY DAY and still complain about not seeing enough vulpineblaze: :-P you have a point... but i realized during those long talks, id have rather being hanging out w/ friends, cuz i do like doing that alot... but i jus didnt know when id get tyme with you, and i was using all my thinky all 0v3rcl0ck3d to try and see you but instead i was just making everything worse SpaceyKritter: haha..yeah vulpineblaze: *huggles* are you still mad? SpaceyKritter: well, not mad, not happy vulpineblaze: Ahh... SpaceyKritter: yeah.. vulpineblaze: http://www.megatokyo.com/index.php?strip_id=96 <-- one of the drawing has alot to do with this ... pa special attention to the book itself vulpineblaze: but yeah, i miss you still :-P vulpineblaze: ... vulpineblaze: how are you?? SpaceyKritter: lol SpaceyKritter: megatokyo can be cool. SpaceyKritter: I have to be honest and tell you that currently, I do not miss you much at all. SpaceyKritter: Seems like huge-ass moodswings to me SpaceyKritter: I donno what to believe vulpineblaze: ... im sorry SpaceyKritter: eh... it's just ur personality, what can you do about it? vulpineblaze: its not my personality, or at least, its not what you think.... kinda like you get scared when theres too much contact, and get afaid when i hav too little... if i jus hear from you every few days, see you once or twice a week, id be fine... but this open-ended not-seeing is scary ...... like, if you had said on friday "i need some tyme away form you, i n33d sp4c3!! ill call wednesday" .. well, i would have said 'grr' but i would have waited fer the call SpaceyKritter: yeah... SpaceyKritter: I didn't know when I'd get over my need of space SpaceyKritter: *sigh* I donno vulpineblaze: :-) well heres the thing, even if you werent over it, you could call, and say "im feeling a bit better, but im still in n33d.. ... ill call agin sunday" ... ?? is that ok..? SpaceyKritter: lol, that's what I was gonna do wednesday vulpineblaze: today is wednesday :-) and i think thats what you doing :-D SpaceyKritter: lol vulpineblaze: :-) SpaceyKritter: meant tuesday* vulpineblaze: o vulpineblaze: *feels dumb* SpaceyKritter: :-P vulpineblaze: yeah, in case you hadnt noticed, i frequently do stupid stuff... at the tyme i think im cool, but it doesnt turn out SpaceyKritter: lol SpaceyKritter: I guess you fail to realize all options vulpineblaze: yea.. something like that SpaceyKritter: haha, yeah.. vulpineblaze: thats why i n33d contact, i n33d directions.... because otherwise i do things my way... and well, look where that got me SpaceyKritter: ahh vulpineblaze: speaking of which -> two things... i have 3 drawing for you, they n33d to be scanned tho... how will i accomplish this? SpaceyKritter: uhhhh SpaceyKritter: by scanning it? SpaceyKritter: with something? SpaceyKritter: try using a pencil as a scanner. vulpineblaze: O.o? SpaceyKritter: it could work if you try hard enough! SpaceyKritter: ^.^ vulpineblaze: :-) ... i was thinking more like either i deliver them n you can have them scannd.. or i havta go beg ppl i kno to borrow theres SpaceyKritter: lol vulpineblaze: :-) vulpineblaze: how did you like the first one? SpaceyKritter: eh.. SpaceyKritter: lol, as I said, space... SpaceyKritter: wow, it's as if you completely had this like major ass mood swing that pissed the crap outta me SpaceyKritter: the hell is all this vulpineblaze: O.o? *hopes you talking past-tense* SpaceyKritter: ... SpaceyKritter: I donno, at first you were all pissed at me, with little reason to be, and you were cursing the female species, felt the need to get drunk SpaceyKritter: it seems like you prolly haven't read my entry then? vulpineblaze: no, i have SpaceyKritter: alright then... vulpineblaze: i honestly dont remember half of that stuff..... actually, i thought i typed alot.. about other stuff... i was confuzled when i re-read them today SpaceyKritter: wow that confused me SpaceyKritter: currently I can't get in to see ur diary SpaceyKritter: says I need a password SpaceyKritter: so I wouldn't know. vulpineblaze: you mentioned it to dwight SpaceyKritter: mentioned where? vulpineblaze: they tried interrogating me last nite SpaceyKritter: what? SpaceyKritter: I know I talked to him. vulpineblaze: i managed to keep it safe... vulpineblaze: barely tho SpaceyKritter: oh.... SpaceyKritter: why don't you want him reading it? vulpineblaze: because, hes IRL.... i dont want feedback from ppl in kno SpaceyKritter: ahh.. SpaceyKritter: *cocks eyebrow* k then vulpineblaze: your an exception, since your chix0r... but still, i feel uncomfortable SpaceyKritter: haha SpaceyKritter: I have no troubles, telling my friends and all about it. I want people to hear about me vulpineblaze: because those are thoughts n feelings n shit... not any of the nice happy shit normal ppl type in theres... SpaceyKritter: yeah SpaceyKritter: lol, I donno. Sometimes I wish people understood my feelings SpaceyKritter: why not have diaries with no locks SpaceyKritter: my diary (the paper one) is like fully open, I always leave it random places vulpineblaze: i think im starting to understand... but its kinda hard, since we are different... but its also kinda fun, learning to adapt like this :-D SpaceyKritter: lol SpaceyKritter: yes yes, we are quite different ^.^ vulpineblaze: but yet we have an incredible amount in common :-) ... as i said, i (still) think your perfect.... but when i say that, im not talking about in general.. im taking about fer me :-) SpaceyKritter: uhh, I'm kinda wondering what we DO have in common? SpaceyKritter: I'm not really seeing much. vulpineblaze: ... O.o? SpaceyKritter: ........ O.o? vulpineblaze: fine then, be grr' at me SpaceyKritter: what?! SpaceyKritter: no. SpaceyKritter: I'm saying what DO we have in common? SpaceyKritter: a question! SpaceyKritter: dude SpaceyKritter: calmate SpaceyKritter: unless you can't think of anything? vulpineblaze: Is that a challenge? SpaceyKritter: ...I'm just asking a question that's not being answered!! SpaceyKritter: how can it be a challenge if it's a question?!? SpaceyKritter: *senses evasion* vulpineblaze: no.. actually im jus trying to work my fav'est quote into this conversation :-D vulpineblaze: im typing in notepad to answer :-) SpaceyKritter: yes.. SpaceyKritter: haha SpaceyKritter: k then. vulpineblaze: .. well! Then I think its Tyme you Learned ~JUST~ who you Picked a Fight With!!! ~ SpaceyKritter: *sits here* SpaceyKritter: *got in two fist fights within the past 3 days* SpaceyKritter: *knows who I picked fights with* vulpineblaze: really? with who?? SpaceyKritter: two guys that were picking on my friends. SpaceyKritter: I told em to fuck off SpaceyKritter: they punched AT my face SpaceyKritter: and I caught their fists ^.^ SpaceyKritter: twisted em SpaceyKritter: told em to fuck off SpaceyKritter: got in a fist fight SpaceyKritter: didn't get hurt at all SpaceyKritter: it was fun SpaceyKritter: they're so scared of me vulpineblaze: :-)! your cute SpaceyKritter: I'm Eli's body gaurd ^.^ SpaceyKritter: how is that cute? lol vulpineblaze: i dunno, but it is :-D SpaceyKritter: haha SpaceyKritter: well actually one got a cheap shot on my boob, but I got him a good fis in the face SpaceyKritter: so it was evened out for that vulpineblaze: ... ok, now im getting a lil grr... who was this fool? SpaceyKritter: Rick Haden vulpineblaze: did he mean to, and does he n33d a beatdown? SpaceyKritter: the other was Fred, or Jeff SpaceyKritter: he didn't mean it sexually, meant to go for a cheap shot, though SpaceyKritter: he hates me SpaceyKritter: I hate him more though ^.^ SpaceyKritter: pffft, I can handle him anyway, he's a dumbass vulpineblaze: still, thats not cool. and im an extrerely jealous person... iv near-r0xd on ppl fer less vulpineblaze: i hope so.. :-) SpaceyKritter: lol.. SpaceyKritter: *smiles and laughs* That's the other thing. I've always thought of jealousy as a dumbasses way out, and a lack of trust vulpineblaze: oh, thanks vulpineblaze: way out of what? ... vulpineblaze: and actually its more of an envy.. but still SpaceyKritter: *thinks* I donno, I think i meant a dumbass' way vulpineblaze: :-P vulpineblaze: i see SpaceyKritter: *Danka Shoen is on* SpaceyKritter: Danka Shoen!!! Darlin, danka shoen! save those lives, darlin don't explain! I recall, central park in all! How you tore your dress, wahat a mess, I confess, that's not all! SpaceyKritter: *singing happily* vulpineblaze: well, the first that comes to mind is Alkaline trio, and our musical interests in general.. we both have similiar style, and common friends, cuz i kno if i wasnt so goddamn poor im be wearing most of your wardrobe on a regular basis... then theres your preferance of redtext-on-black, which iv bein using since i first learned HTML... i only recently started with different colors.. we both have similair strength.. we react to challenges the same, only in a lil more outspoken about things... we both have our futures in mind alot, even if i rarely seem that way... and then theres that look in your eyes, that always makes me feel like the world is right.. its like i -know- everything will be ok ... vulpineblaze: ***my head still hurts, thinking makes it worse.. if you need to, ill think of more laterz*** vulpineblaze: :-) your cute :-) SpaceyKritter: yeah, see, the only things I've seen is music and colors... SpaceyKritter: so many people have those exact tastes though, so I wasn't really counting them. vulpineblaze: well fine then... maby im not special to you... i still think theres more to this though... SpaceyKritter: well, I'm just saying I find little in common with you, that doesn't mean that I used to think something special was there SpaceyKritter: unlike you, I actually stick with what I'm feeling, without these fuckin weird-ass moodswings... *looks at you oddly* vulpineblaze: what do you mean... your the one whos changed moods.... SpaceyKritter: how is that? SpaceyKritter: I'm still happy SpaceyKritter: you're picturing me angrier than I am SpaceyKritter: I state things vulpineblaze: iv kept fairly steady.. i liked you, then i liked you more.. with a breif exception of my drunkenness... SpaceyKritter: I don't mean them as direct insults vulpineblaze: you liked me, started to like me more.. then you n33ded space, your scared, you dont call for dayze SpaceyKritter: that's when you tripped SpaceyKritter: got depressed kinda SpaceyKritter: said you were beginning to hate life more SpaceyKritter: and are now perfectly fine SpaceyKritter: I donno. vulpineblaze: O.o? i was beginning to hate life cuz i got less n less tyme with you... SpaceyKritter: I put what I feel in my diaries, it's my complete truth, do you exaggerate yours or something? SpaceyKritter: *still looks at you oddly* vulpineblaze: *i rarely explain myself fully.. i think too fast or something??* SpaceyKritter: I guess.? SpaceyKritter: I donno. It's seems like maybe usually there'd be some sort of effect from hearing what I had to say in my diary today, but then again, MY feelings in the matter never mean anything. vulpineblaze: O.o? SpaceyKritter: so maybe ur seeming a little more like my usual. But u really aren't. Less like neglecting, more creepy SpaceyKritter: *sigh* I donno, whatever vulpineblaze: no, explain SpaceyKritter: yeah, leave it vulpineblaze: the only reason social problems -ever- arise is from miscommunication n stubborness... SpaceyKritter: "I wish he didn't do all this, I wish he would've given me that extra day, so I could've called him, and hung out for a bit. I just needed space. Does that mean I'm a bad person? I guess in his eyes it does. But no. I'm sorry, I was gonna call him. But I don't think I want to ever call him again. His bullshit about life is so wasting my time" vulpineblaze: and so your only going to talk to me about this? SpaceyKritter: yeah, that had no meaning? vulpineblaze: i never said that SpaceyKritter: that's what I said! SpaceyKritter: do you care?!?!?! vulpineblaze: Yes. SpaceyKritter: ...... vulpineblaze: i never said it had no meaning SpaceyKritter: whatever!! SpaceyKritter: lol, you didn't even know that's what I'd written! vulpineblaze: in fact, i wish i had waited, but ididnt kno i would hav caused this much trouble SpaceyKritter: you don't seem to give a crap that, -maybe- I meant that? SpaceyKritter: "But I don't think I want to ever call him again. His bullshit about life is so wasting my time" vulpineblaze: *i knew, you misunderstood the first tyme i typed* SpaceyKritter: that part mainly SpaceyKritter: not the waiting vulpineblaze: and that, it just hurt. and i was truly hoping you didnt mean it, which is why i was trying not to react SpaceyKritter: lol, well even -after- I said I meant it you didn't seem to notice. SpaceyKritter: so interesting vulpineblaze: O.o? vulpineblaze: how so? SpaceyKritter: lmfao SpaceyKritter: I said That had no meaning? SpaceyKritter: what do you think I meant, waiting? we've gone through it SpaceyKritter: I donno, it aggitated me that you seemed all perfectly happy "oh, well, she doesn't want to talk to me, but I still wanna see her so I will!!!" vulpineblaze: i was perfectly happy, i was proud of myself i wanted to share that with you SpaceyKritter: all of it seems to be true that my feelings don't really matter as long as you get what you want vulpineblaze: of course, i could say the same about you SpaceyKritter: how's that? SpaceyKritter: I've made an effort vulpineblaze: O.o? SpaceyKritter: it hasn't worked out SpaceyKritter: and so I'm scared off, but what? you want me to try and shake it off, then end up ditching you just like Christina?! SpaceyKritter: I did that SO I could stay! SpaceyKritter: I wanted to! vulpineblaze: this is the first 'effort' iv seen... you havnt calld, and i was the one who first said 'you calld me for your spaces sake' and i did wait 2 or 3 days before calling SpaceyKritter: but I'm starting to not want to anymore SpaceyKritter: lmfao. Ok, I wasn't ready, how can that count as not effort? SpaceyKritter: should I have not even tried?!? vulpineblaze: and i was gonna wait longer, but i wanted to deliver the pic, and i only was gonna see you a minute or two, which shouldnt have bein that big of a deal! SpaceyKritter: I'M NOT LIKE YOU! I was scared away so I should just not follow my feelings, force myself to hang out with you, force myself to be unhappy... SpaceyKritter: woah, I liked the pic vulpineblaze: id do it for you SpaceyKritter: but ur talking about the none-calling SpaceyKritter: I'm not talking about the pic SpaceyKritter: it's you being aggitated over none-calls vulpineblaze: i walked for an hour n a half in the cold, and i was tired as hell... just to give that too you SpaceyKritter: yeah, even though -you knew- I needed space SpaceyKritter: but this is SO not my problem! SpaceyKritter: I'm not talking about that ONE thing vulpineblaze: how is this not your problem? SpaceyKritter: no, that topic wasn't what I was talking about SpaceyKritter: my gosh vulpineblaze: all of it roots back to you-n33d-space, so this is kinda on-topic SpaceyKritter: no, I meant that one thing, about the pic SpaceyKritter: dude SpaceyKritter: *looks at you oddly again* vulpineblaze: define 'that one thing' SpaceyKritter: ABOUT THE PIC SpaceyKritter: that you brought SpaceyKritter: frustrating! you don't speak kritter at all!! vulpineblaze: yes, ok, im sorry, but i didnt think youd be -that- upset over seeing me for only a minute or two SpaceyKritter: I defied my kritterhood!! *shakes fist mentally* how could you ever do this to me, saturn!! SpaceyKritter: LMFAO!!! I SAID THAT DIDN"T MATTER!!! SpaceyKritter: but do you listen?!?! vulpineblaze: *actually, technically, this is -myne- and since im older, i claim seniority... i jus didnt name it* SpaceyKritter: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no vulpineblaze: *omfg.. so confuzled* SpaceyKritter: I'm saying, Jon, if you can actually find it in ur heart to listen vulpineblaze: *listens* SpaceyKritter: that, I liked the pic, I don't mind that you came over that day SpaceyKritter: I mind that you were aggitated that I didn't call SpaceyKritter: when -you knew- all I needed was space SpaceyKritter: and also that you didn't seem to care the least about what I thought about calling you, you know, about me saying I'd never call you again SpaceyKritter: so yeah SpaceyKritter: I donno, this all aggrivates me so god damn much vulpineblaze: ok, well you did imply you were 'grr' at me showing up that one day in an entry and here, i was upset at bing not-calld but i wasnt gonna do anything about it because i knew you needed space, and i was trying so hard to not-cry about you never-calling-agin.... aas i said, im still hoping you dont mean that, and so im avoiding reacting to it... vulpineblaze: *knows how you feel* vulpineblaze: *was d/c'd, sorries* SpaceyKritter: wb SpaceyKritter: it's ok SpaceyKritter: one question though SpaceyKritter: would you have preferred me to just break it off clean and smooth? SpaceyKritter: cuz I stayed for you SpaceyKritter: I wanted SpaceyKritter: ...I wanted my space, so I could remind myself how great you were.. SpaceyKritter: and that I didn't need to be scared SpaceyKritter: so I thought we could keep it on SpaceyKritter: but, I'm not seeing that now. SpaceyKritter: all I am is aggrivated SpaceyKritter: all the space thing has gotten me is more pain SpaceyKritter: welcome back... SpaceyKritter: what was the last thing you saw me type? vulpineblaze: ""all the space .... vulpineblaze: and then welcome back *lolz* vulpineblaze: *hates 56K* SpaceyKritter: yeah.. SpaceyKritter: what was the last thing you saw me type? vulpineblaze: that question ^^^^^ SpaceyKritter: oh. SpaceyKritter: SpaceyKritter: cuz I stayed for you SpaceyKritter: I wanted SpaceyKritter: ...I wanted my space, so I could remind myself how great you were.. SpaceyKritter: and that I didn't need to be scared SpaceyKritter: so I thought we could keep it on SpaceyKritter: but, I'm not seeing that now. SpaceyKritter: all I am is aggrivated SpaceyKritter: all the space thing has gotten me is more pain vulpineblaze: *knew* SpaceyKritter: knew that I'd typed it, or that I was staying for you? vulpineblaze: *both* vulpineblaze: i would prefer you stay... but if your going to ditch me, the sooner the better... because it hurts so bad to wait not knowing anything about whats going on... i think if you had told me about your plan then things would have worked out better... but now im not even sure.. since im prolly never going to get another chance to fix things... i want you to not-be scared.. i want you back. vulpineblaze: *was crying that over n over last nite... kiel thought i was talking about Jill.. i wasnt* SpaceyKritter: ah SpaceyKritter: aw.. SpaceyKritter: well. I was staying, and my plan -was- to stay. But I don't see anything to us anymore vulpineblaze: you havnt had a chance to see 'us' in almost a week vulpineblaze: actually, i think its bein more? SpaceyKritter: yeah, I haven't wanted to SpaceyKritter: things progressively got worse SpaceyKritter: I don't see in ANY way how it's been more vulpineblaze: really? *knew, had ph34r* SpaceyKritter: *has already said that 3 times* vulpineblaze: well, i dunno... iv lost track of days, and its felt like a year since iv seen you last... SpaceyKritter: yeah, that's one thing that just does not work for me SpaceyKritter: it seems like it's been hours for me vulpineblaze: its because youv put almost everything else as a higher priority... im nothing to you, and it shows... meanwhile im the opposite, i care, too much... SpaceyKritter: lol, Jon, I put -school- ahead of you vulpineblaze: How? SpaceyKritter: I put -school- ahead of everything SpaceyKritter: not ANYTHING else SpaceyKritter: I had plans, but I went with YOU instead vulpineblaze: when was this? vulpineblaze: or do you mean metaphor-style? SpaceyKritter: each time we saw each other SpaceyKritter: no... SpaceyKritter: I always go do stuff SpaceyKritter: I'd be shopping with mom, hanging with Maria SpaceyKritter: I told her I had something to do SpaceyKritter: she's cool with it SpaceyKritter: so it was only school, and you say that's everything? SpaceyKritter: school is my life, it's important to me vulpineblaze: and now schools getting it due attention.. i got lucky for a few days, now im shit, right where i belong? SpaceyKritter: *sighs* SpaceyKritter: once again it feels as if you haven't heard a word I've said ^.^ vulpineblaze: same here :-P SpaceyKritter: well, yeah, Jon, I don't really wanna go out with you anymore vulpineblaze: and i dont wanna live anymore, go figure? vulpineblaze: but then agin, its always bein thsi way SpaceyKritter: yeah, just don't blame me for pathetic troubles in life vulpineblaze: and you didnt come online to fix things today, you intended this SpaceyKritter: I didn't -make- you hate life, your choice vulpineblaze: your not my troubles SpaceyKritter: I didn't think you'd be on SpaceyKritter: you had a chance to fix things still. Depending on how this went vulpineblaze: .. but you were the cure... SpaceyKritter: but it went terribley SpaceyKritter: pfft SpaceyKritter: nope SpaceyKritter: not me vulpineblaze: im sorry, what was i supposed to say? SpaceyKritter: like I knew? SpaceyKritter: the only thing you made me feel tonight was anger, frustration, and aggrivation SpaceyKritter: not to mention me feeling like someone talking to a happy wall SpaceyKritter: so no. vulpineblaze: what odd is you were getting space, it was confirmed at the beginning ^^^ and things are just as you cliam to want them SpaceyKritter: what the fuck are you trying on me Jon? do you want to not give a shit what I say? SpaceyKritter: just MAYBE I stated the truth? SpaceyKritter: you have no idea how fucking happy I'll be to get rid of you if this is TRULY what you believe vulpineblaze: well, your getting want you want, i dont really see why you still upset SpaceyKritter: because trust means everything to me. SpaceyKritter: lmfao. SpaceyKritter: ohhh my Jon vulpineblaze: id do -anything- but i guess thats not good enough? SpaceyKritter: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA SpaceyKritter: wow, you fucking bastard, you wanna TRY listening to me?! SpaceyKritter: can it happen?! SpaceyKritter: can you try trusting something?! SpaceyKritter: please, this is pathetic! vulpineblaze: its hard to trust when anytyme i start to im hurt SpaceyKritter: yeah SpaceyKritter: you must start anew vulpineblaze: but ill listen -> what did i miss? SpaceyKritter: I've been decieved SpaceyKritter: I've been hurt SpaceyKritter: oh my god SpaceyKritter: THAT I WANTED TO STAY WITH YOU! SpaceyKritter: AND YOU INSIST ON SAYING I DIDN"T! vulpineblaze: i knew that... vulpineblaze: i never said that... SpaceyKritter: !!!!!!!!! SpaceyKritter: OH MY FUCKING GOD HOW COULD YOU TAKE BACK SOMETHING YOU JUST SAID?!?!? vulpineblaze: show me SpaceyKritter: please SpaceyKritter: I don't need this bullshit SpaceyKritter: kk SpaceyKritter: well, your getting want you want, i dont really see why you still upset SpaceyKritter: what odd is you were getting space, it was confirmed at the beginning ^^^ and things are just as you cliam to want them SpaceyKritter: no, no, SO WRONG SpaceyKritter: so whatever vulpineblaze: ok, im still lost SpaceyKritter: I'm gonna go to bed, nice and aggitated SpaceyKritter: yeah, well, it's hard for some to follow SpaceyKritter: *looks at you like ur a kid* sry babe vulpineblaze: wait a second SpaceyKritter: I'm gonna go so I can recoupe for tomorrow vulpineblaze: i was talking present-tense.. you wanted to stay past-tense vulpineblaze: now, you said it yourself you dont wanna stay SpaceyKritter: not after this vulpineblaze: and im still not completely sure why? SpaceyKritter: lol! vulpineblaze: because of what? vulpineblaze: that im still trying SpaceyKritter: you aggrivate te fuck outta me! that's why! SpaceyKritter: you don't listen! SpaceyKritter: you decide not to care bout certain things in denial! vulpineblaze: was i jus supposed to say "whatever" and forget about you till you decide to call??? SpaceyKritter: you smother me, then get aggrivated that I'm not "trying" ard enough for you vulpineblaze: i was going to back off vulpineblaze: i said that vulpineblaze: you miss things too SpaceyKritter: that's what I would've done, but you wouldn't have to be that blatant SpaceyKritter: I know you said that SpaceyKritter: no, I heard, I know you were giving me some space SpaceyKritter: but you also mentioned so many times how much it bothered you SpaceyKritter: sorry for trying?! vulpineblaze: it does! but im willing to deal with it, for you!! SpaceyKritter: yeah, it doesn't seem like it vulpineblaze: no, im getting pissed cuz you un-b/f'ing me... SpaceyKritter: sorry for being scared away then aggrivated? vulpineblaze: if things were just you get space, and will call in a few dayz.. everything would be fine SpaceyKritter: if you still don't understand after how many times I've repeated myself SpaceyKritter: you weren't meant to understand SpaceyKritter: so stop even bothering, because it's really just bothering me SpaceyKritter: and making me realize my good descision SpaceyKritter: if this is the way it'll be in a fight SpaceyKritter: I don't wanna deal with it vulpineblaze: you hinted early on youd call.. you never denied it at least SpaceyKritter: yeah vulpineblaze: if you sdaying you wont call me agin, then fine SpaceyKritter: what? SpaceyKritter: no.. SpaceyKritter: I wouldn't have SpaceyKritter: unless it was to break it off SpaceyKritter: but no, I don't want to call you again SpaceyKritter: I'm gonna leave, do a little more homework, recoupe, then compart my feelings and be the happy me again SpaceyKritter: the one who isn't angered vulpineblaze: i wish i could do that SpaceyKritter: it's actually quite fun SpaceyKritter: nice thing to learn SpaceyKritter: so I'll see you in some other life. SpaceyKritter: buh bye! vulpineblaze: ... now, im curious, your not calling because i tryed to confirm the calling to hinted on earlier but decided to not-do after i tryed to make you agree to it? SpaceyKritter: do you really want to drag me into my unhappiness again? I won't call, because you piss me off now SpaceyKritter: I wouldn't call before because you had sen me already SpaceyKritter: there was ur dose of Lauren SpaceyKritter: twice in one day without being recouped? SpaceyKritter: not a good idea vulpineblaze: ok, i see vulpineblaze:
Another spring, 2012 - 2012-04-28
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